Just a Thought on a Very Rushing Day!

Today i woke up feeling a little odd. I did have a good night's sleep (even with all the hammering from our neighbor, which by the way, fyi, does the handcrafting of baseball gloves) after an hour or so of thug...thug... thug-thug...

Breakfast is already served, thanks to my loving husband! Sopas (macaroni soup) and scrambled egg with tea and bananas on the side. Oh, I love bananas... i do also love tea... i buy sorts. We have one in Banaba leaves that they say is good for diabetics(noel, my husband was diagnosed pre-diabetic), i also bought Steuarts Premium Ceylon Black Tea, which i love plain. A few other variant of this brand that i loved also is the  And just recently, got us Twinings Classics Earl Grey Tea. A light and aromatic blend of fine black tea scented with a citrus bergamot flavour. This one i love to mix with Calamansi and a little sugar. It has a very distinct smell. It's citrusy fragrance uplifts the spirit and gives a lasting impression on me throughout the day. 

I gotta rush though! I have to go to the bank to encash my salary, then deposit it to my checking account. Have to pay the bills. I have almost drained our account this week, what with the bills piling up. So as my work load... it's now piling up and am not in any way in the mood to do the works. Really, it sucks! A third cut on my salary is gonna hurt really... And to think that I am already foreseeing this... four paydays ago?!? 

The other night, while praying, my tears just fell and it's because i knew in my heart it was my fault. I knew I cannot bargain with God over tithing! But I still did, hoping He'll understand that I give to dad, my mom, my hubby's family and sorts. So I did ask Him for the 10%. Said that this same amount and maybe more i would share with those that are in need. Well the 10% i kept... now i lost 35% of my salary and whoa!!! the bills are still piling up, i still have to give support to my dad, my hubby's family are asking for a little help on their finances, and now i know that i have to give to God what's due Him.... 

There are times I wanted to be a SOMEBODY... not just for the sake of being a SOMEBODY but because being a SOMEBODY has its, shall we say, advantages. If I am a SOMEBODY, more or less I have an account in the bank that does matter; a job that not only pays the bill but also gives excess for anything and everything i might want to spend on or save, depends on the need;  power to shift the tide... you know what i mean! It's just that I wanted to help, but then how can I help others when I can barely help myself, my family, my friends... 

There was a time when I thought of putting up a foundation to help the street children. Not exactly take them away from the streets as DSWD does. They would run away again and long before you knew it they are on the streets again!

What I really wanted was a shelter for them. A shelter they can go to get a good night's sleep. A shelter where they can find food for breakfast, lunch and dinner. A decent bath and basic hygiene... To just be able to fit in again in society. Bring back respect and decency in their lives. But I know that is too far-fetched. I have nothing. 

So back to reality, I tried to give as much as I can. I love to see smiles in people, elderlies and children when I give to them. They have so much joy. There are times that I know that what I gave is not enough, for I felt that they needed much more than food for this moment. They needed care. 

Oh well, I may become SOMEBODY one of these days. And who knows? It might be in the near future!

i am marycel.... simply... marycel....

And this is who I am.... This is who I want to be!



25 July 2012 (Thursday)